Hanging Out

4/26/14 16:14

I'm waiting for my tires to get rotated so I have some free time and I'm not putting off posting anymore.

Its been a good month. Getting things in order, scheduling sinus surgery, starting physical therapy, changing my diet and giving up sugar, caffeine and grains, horses have all their vet, chiropractic and farrier car current and look great post-shedding.

I washed and polished up my car so it doesn't look so neglected! Yesterday I changed my own oil for the first time. Now that I've done that, I can say I'd rather pay somebody else to do it! But I have a certain oil and filter I want to use, so I'm kind of stuck doing it myself.

I'm still not feeling awesome, but hopefully in about 3 months, after I've healed from surgery, have been eating better and learn how to stand/move properly in physical therapy, I'll be a whole new person!

Instant Happiness

4/10/14 00:17

Sunshine. Glorious warm Spring days. Vibrant green grass. Flowers blooming everywhere. Weather like this is why I live in Oregon.

The horses are glossy and content, full of spring hijinks, I'm energized by the space created in my life by Harmony's departure, and stuff is getting done. The daily stuff that I've been so far behind on for so long...cooking, cleaning, grooming and training the horses...is all getting done, despite starting on a Whole 30 and passing out after work because there's no sugar and caffeine to keep me going.

I'm energized in spite of the exhaustion from adjusting to new diet and getting more done than ever, which is amazing to think about. How can I be so tired and spend so much time sleeping after work and still get all this done?! Guess it's just happy fuel!

Sometimes....

4/6/14 20:07

I just need a boot to the bum! These last days and weeks I've been asking myself where I am going, if I'm just floating along or if I'm really letting go of unreasonable expectations. I want to be happy, I know what makes me happy, and yet somehow I've lost that moment treasuring joie d'viv.

So here I've been, questioning my accomplishments and where I'm going and feeling like I haven't really DONE anything. I haven't been writing more than 'I did such and such' once a week in my journal, I haven't been working on either of my books, I haven't been saving for a rainy day, I've just been adjusting to a new reality. And apparently, I see now, beating myself up for needing some time to adjust and comprehend the impact of my new norm!

In just a month, I have freedom I've only dreamed of (my own horse hauling rig, a horse trailer free and clear), I've sold Harmony and gained all the financial, emotional and free time that entails, I've put Hoodlum in professional training, and I'm well on my way to having 3 top notch show horses ready to go. For the first time ever. I've never had any of this and it's what I've always dreamed of! And it all came together in a month! WOW! WOW! WOW!!!

This afternoon I drove up to Corvallis, in the glorious perfect spring sunshine and saw Harmony, relaxed and happy with her new Mom in an enormous stall with a huge window where everyone admires and adorea her as they walk by. She is as relaxed as I have ever seen her. I have taken this mare so far...from a wild, practically feral 3 year old, to this. I did my part to ensure her a great future and now I've sent her on to it, freeing myself in the process. THAT is definitely something to be thankful for!